What's better than camping in 95 degree heat?

Coming home last night to discover our Air Conditioner has bit the big one. So now I live in a home where it's 95 degrees out in the shade. I have my television volume all the way up to hear it over the umpteen fans I'm running so I don't DIE.

Oh, and even better? According to estimates today, we're going to be really, really poor for some time to come in order to replace that bitch.

Oh I love life. I really really do.

Just not today.

Make my ass look amazing

So every time those Brit Fashion Police girls are on Oprah, I want to fling myself at their mercy and make them style me.

This week they did bras and jeans. Apparently my bras are all wrong, but I have too much invested in my bra wardrobe to change it all up now.

My question is: every madeover woman was put in jeans that made them look tall, slender and gave the impression of an amazing ass. I want those jeans!! The companies most noted were Citizens of Humanity and Joe's Jeans. Not being a fashionista, I went online. These jeans cost $160!!

Being the tightwad that I am, I just about died. But I am *thisclose* to thinking I'd actually save with these jeans in mind, if they really did make my ass look that fabulous. One pair. It can live behind glass with my amazing purple Coach purse.

Do any of you have "amazing ass", albeit expensive jeans? And is it worth it when I'd be afraid to wear them out for fear of applesauce stains and chocolate fingerprints??

Where is the summer going?

Just damn. It's already coming on the middle of July, and the Princess goes back to school on August FIFTEENTH. Um, color me crazy, but isn't that still the heart of the dog ass hot summer? Not the fall. Not even the LATE summer. But still summer. How not fair to have to go back to school in the middle of August. I mean, she's never known different, so I guess to her it's just life, but is it just me or did school actually start in September when we were kids? You know, AUTUMN?

And speaking of summer: that quote about "lazy days" of summer? That's crap. I'm running around like a madwoman. Family trips, campouts, day cares, cheer camps, ballet classes, work, trainings for work, cookouts, the beach, Chicago in two weeks (American Girl store and Cafe....lord help me, it's begun). Now granted, most of this stuff isn't mandatory. We could certainly sit around all summer and go nowhere. No camps, no classes, quit driving all over the dang state, etc. But then we'd whine we were bored. And I feel like since the Princess only gets about two whole months of summer, we should make the most of it: squeeze in as much fun as one family can take.

But all that fun takes a toll. I'm tired. I'm crabby. I'm getting fatter with all the food I eat at these cookouts and campouts and family gatherings. And as much time as I'm spending with my family, I feel like I haven't really seen my husband all summer long. One date all summer. Which was awesome, but once is just a tease. No babysitters left around here. At least none that will barter a service. Because if you pay what a babysitter charges, you are left no money to go out and take advantage of said service.

Wow. I am crabby. Don't be pissy and post a blog. People will think you're a big fat whiner. That's okay, right now I kinda am.