Wednesday, August 30, 2006

My mom is a hot grandma

So my mom turned fifty five a few weeks ago. I was fortunate enough to host her here in Indy for the morning at my salon. She got the works: waxing, facial, chemical peel, hair color and style. She looked AMAZING.

But the real present came afterward: my brother and I bought my mom a Tattoo.

Yep, my quiet, country girl, Elvis and God loving mother is tattooed.

She's been talking about it for ages, and has always had a healthy interest in my tats and my brother's awesome work. Her only real protestations were bogus: don't know what I'd get, where I'd put it, and "my mom would kill me". I'm of the opinion that if you are old enough to join the AARP, you don't need your mother's approval for body modification, but that's just the rebel in me, I suppose.

So, we came up with ideas for design, ideas for where to put it, and ideas on how to break the news to grandma. We also put down a sizeable deposit, so she had no reason to protest.

She was actually really excited about the idea, and went through with it like a champ. I'm very proud of my brave momma.

The only time I thought she'd falter was just as the artist leaned in to begin. Her eyes became saucers and she looked at me like "what the hell did you get me into?" as her fingers squeezed mine into a twisted mass of phalanges.

I had told her it really didn't hurt that bad, which isn't a lie. I really actually enjoy getting them. Masochistic, perhaps, but it's really no big deal to me. My mom, however, actually called me a "fucking liar" and that it hurt "way worse than I was expecting".

So, there you go. Tomato/tomahto, doesn't hurt so much/fucking liar. To each her own.

But my mom is now the proud owner of three beautiful yellow roses across the small of her back: one for her amazing husband (who was totally into his wife getting inked...thinks it's hot) and one each for her even amazing-er children. :)

Happy Birthday, hot momma.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Back to School Blues

I've been typically MIA for awhile. So much to get done at the close of summer, so little time. The Princess started first grade, and the DQM has already received a phone call from her music teacher that she isn't paying attention in class. THE SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL.

Now, if it were *me* teaching, (but I'm not a teacher) I would try and resolve the issue myself. See, *I* would be the teacher. The six year old? The student. Whom I would discipline. Or move to the front of the room, instead of allowing her to sit anywhere she likes. If I were the teacher, I might try and resolve the issue once before calling in the parents. But of course, I am *not* the teacher. The REAL teacher in this scenario called the mother of said six year old to ask what she should do.

It's music class. Once a week, a half hour. I'm not saying my kid shouldn't be held responsible and shouldn't pay attention. But I am saying that receiving a call about your child misbehaving on her second day of first grade is a bit disconcerning. Was a phone call really necessary?

Here's a mini script:

(Phone rings at 3:15pm)

Teacher: Is this the DQM, the Princess's mother?

DQM: Yes, it is. Is she okay? Did she get hurt on the playground?

Teacher: No, no. It's Mrs. Music Teacher. Today was our first day with her class, and we're having a few problems that I just wanted to alert you to and nip in the bud.

DQM: (internally groaning) Really? What's going on?

Teacher: Well, we had a bit of this with her last year, but she really doesn't want to pay attention in class. She likes to flip her legs up in the air a lot and I spent more than 50% of my time telling her to sit still and pay attention.

DQM: Hmmmm. That's not good. Are the kids sitting on the floor?

Teacher: Yes, they sit on risers in the room.

DQM: And do you assign where they should sit?

Teacher: No, no, I let them sit wherever they want.

DQM: And where does the princess like to sit?

Teacher: Oh, she always goes straight to the top and sits in the back.

DQM: So make her sit up by you. Make her pay attention to you. (Thinking: um, you're the teacher, right? So be in control)

Teacher: HMMM. So that would be okay with you? Maybe I'll try that.

DQM: Considering this is not a report I've gotten from any classroom teacher so far, I'm assuming she's bored. And when she's bored, she spaces out. And if you don't have her close by you, keeping an eye on her, she's going to space out, roll around, whatever. She is six, after all.

Teacher: Oh, okay. I will try that. Maybe the first six weeks or so? You think?

DQM: (over this conversation two minutes ago) That's a great idea. I'll talk to her tonight and go over the expectations of behavior, and you put her up in front by you next time, mkay?

A few niceties, then I hung up.

Am I wrong in thinking this was a bogus phone call? I have met this woman. She is small, dowdy, mousy, maybe mid forties. Half of the fifth graders at this school could beat her up. Is she picking on my little bitty blonde baby because it's a battle she can win, or is my kid really the devil incarnate?

Considering the one morning spent in her classroom last year, I'm shocked that *my kid* was the one whose parent got a phone call. There were kindergarteners in her class that hit, cursed, ran around the room, drew on the walls, hit some more, screamed at the teachers when being disciplined, and kicked over furniture.

Again, no excuse for not sitting up and paying attention, but a phone call to the parents over this? Really? Really??

Sunday, August 06, 2006

At least we have air, right?

We just went a whole morning without water. Because our water heater was messed up. Yep, just two days after we paid out the ass to have our furnace and ac replaced, the water just kept coming. Thankfully, it turned out to be some copper pipes and washers that my FIL and husband were able to replace. It's a bandaid, but may prevent us from adding Hot Water Heater to our list of "replaced in 2006".

We still don't have electricity in two upstairs rooms. Have been showering in the dark since before the fourth of July. It happened the day the roofers came to replace the roof. We think we found it the problem today in the attic (exhaust fan rewired improperly). THANK GOD it's a bill we will be able to pass onto our contractor.

But seriously? Enough is enough. Could my house just be nice and not JANK ASS for just a month or two? Please?