The latest from the Royal Family

Not much to say here. We're heading to the beach for the fourth. Pray for no rain. Entertaining two kids in one tent in the rain is a bit much to ask for. They are putting on a new roof today (hail damage), so that is cool...we'd need to do that in a year or two before we sell, anyway.

New job is rocking.

Kids are at amazing ages. Here's some cuteness for your holiday weekend:

Look out Couric

Wasn't it Katie Couric that got a colonoscopy on National TV, live? For the sake of journalism and our colonic health, right?

Well, I wasn't filmed, and I'm really not interested in looking out for the nations' digestive systems, but today? I did a Couric.

Without going into TMI (which I think I've already crossed that bridge), it took less than a half hour, it was completely painless, and not the big, dreaded anxiety I had been building up in my mind for more than a week.

The best part were the IV drugs. Demerol, man. I heard that is an option sometimes for childbirth. I now see why. It is exactly 10 hours since the roto-rooter disguised as a handsome asian doctor told me I'd hear from pathology in less than two weeks, and I'm still feeling really high and woozy. Also, that the whole day *may* have occured only in a long, weird dream. Apparently with the pain meds, they administer a slight amnesiatic drug as well, that makes you question your very existence on this plane, in addition to making you forget any pain the scope may have caused.

So, there's my PSA: Colonoscopy is usually for senior citizens. Or at least the over 55 set, as my mom gently reminded me today that the doc is calling for her to get one this fall as part of her regular checkups. But if you ever are faced with one, it's really no big. Just block off your whole day for sleeping, and don't try and operate a car or a stove, or a cellphone. Also, don't make any plans or promises or sign any legal documents within 24 hours. But most of all, don't be afraid. Put on your best brave Katie Couric face and do what you gotta do.

And pray you didn't call your ex boss and call him an asshat whilst in the throes of Demerol fever. That part *had* to be a dream, right?

Four.

This is the number of stories I saw that lead the news tonight at ten. All four of them were about children: missing, dead, endangered. Seriously, what the FUCK is going on out there? So glad I live in nice, boring, Indiana, where nothing exciting happens. Jesus, I may as well just move my kids to downtown NYC and hope for the best. At least there maybe I can act for a living.

Story number one: A man separated from his wife abducted his two and four year old boys at knifepoint, hid with them for a few hours, stabbed them, slit their throats, stabbed himself and then dove with them into the river. The four year old died, the two year old is downtown at Riley and will recover. The man lives, OF COURSE.

Story number two: A few weeks ago, a family of seven were murdered in their home on the east side. Their accused killer has new charges against him, even before his inital hearing: threatening the lives of a prison guard and his family. Smooth, asshole. Really good defense.

Story number three: Three more children abducted in Southern Indiana tonight, presumably by their father.

Story number four: big drug bust, near east side. Found in the fray? Several loaded and cocked guns shoved under the couch cushions. On top of the cushions? A sleeping nine month old baby. Mom, nineteen, was down the street at the time of the bust. Good job, mom.

And I just about berate myself if I forget to pack enough healthy foods in my kids' lunches.

This is exactly why I cannot watch the news. I just can't.

From the big birthday weekend

From this weekend:

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Cowboy WeeMan

My brother with his cowboy gangsta look

With a new toy

His "did you know that a whole bottle of red food coloring still makes a pink cowboy boot" cake

Dammit woman! I said quit taking pictures!

Trying on a drug helmet. Or being Aunt Jemima

And one of the Princess, just because.