What you need to know about SBD

South Beach Diet. After two weeks, I'm down all of two pounds net. But I've been working out like a fiend and muscle weighs more than fat, right? I may not be svelte, but I have more energy, I'm sleeping sounder, and I feel really great about doing the right thing for myself and my family (who are all eating better as a result of me being the only cook around here).

I'm abandoning SBD for just healthier choices and lifestyle changes. It didn't give me the quick start I was looking for, and it's pointless to follow a "diet" to the letter if you aren't happy on it.

If you're interested in trying it (most people have great success), here's what you should know:

Don't do it if you won't eat salad. I ate salad twice a day.
Don't do it if you can't stand eggs. I ate them every morning.

I love carbs. Love love love loves me some carbs. I can live without a donut a day, but I have to have some carbs...the sweet, bread-y kind...even just a little every day or I'll become homocidal.

I actually woke up this morning from a DREAM about Fruit Loops. A big fat bowl of them.

Ricotta Creme desserts (after day one) taste like curdled pudding that ate a bite of before you realized it was bad...only realizing it had gone over AFTER you'd choked down the first bite. Stick with sugar free popsicles and jello.

Be prepared to spend more money on groceries. Our monthly budget for food shopping was $200. Switching from ramen, packaged noodles and sauce mixes, and cream of X casseroles to vegetables, fish, meat, lowfat cheese (which Sam's carries, BTW) and a ton of more of the same put our monthly bill WAY over. This week adding low carb products, yogurt, fruits, and whole grain breads and flours will make it worse.

The following things you can't pay me to eat for the next two weeks or so:

Celery with Laughing Cow Light cheese
string cheese
jello
anything that looks like a zuchini or eggplant or squash

I'd rather stick these things in my eye than my mouth right now.

So there you go. The scale still wins, but I learned a lot, I'm on the right track, and my husband told my that the roll of "backfat" I had last month is now gone.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Week one of SBD is done

And I'm five pounds down.

I'm never hungry, I am eating very well, and I feel good about the steps I'm finally taking to a better, healthier life.

But I would sell my soul for a donut.

Swimming lessons

And the lessons I've learned from them.

1. Swimming lessons at our community pool cost $50 for a two week course.

2. You can save $50 if you just keep her home, sit her in a corner, make her cry, wail, scream, and generally be noncompliant for an hour each day.'

Lesson over.

We're back, and here's what I've learned.

NEVER take a mobile baby on an airplane. NEVER. No amount of Benadryl, no car seat strapping, no amount of snacks, toys or other distractions can save you if EACH FLIGHT both ways has a one hour wait on the runway before takeoff.

We got seats in the way back, at least, to drown out the screaming. The boy hates driving in a car seat, but at least in a car you can roll down the window or turn up the radio to drown him out.

We also were sat next to people with kids, so we didn't receive every piercing glare from the unmarried and kidless. Just most of them.

When deplaning, I announced that "today's flight brought to you by Trojan...use them, people!!"

My daughter asked me if we were the people "everyone hates".

The vacation was fabulous, but I'll save that and some pictures for a later entry when I have calmed down and can laugh about all this.

Packing for vacation

Checklist:

Stroller
carseat
Backpack for Jer
Hello Kitty carryon for El
Suitcase for me
Suitcase for diapers, El's stuff, booster seat for her
Carryon, containing:

Four thousand pounds of food for the boy
DVD player and movies for the girl
Bottle and sippy for the boy
"airplane treats" if the girl behaves, including one very strange looking Bratz Baby
book for me that I won't even pretend I'll have time to read
More sncaks for the boy
Medicine, including my regular three, Jer's allergy pills, tylenol for the teeth that are *thisclose* to breaking through, and benadryl, for drugging the boy should food not keep him occupied.

A camera to catch every moment of this fun fun fun adventure.