As I put the Drama Princess to bed the other night, she began to cry. Big heaving sobs. She was sad that Littlefoot had to leave his father and brother behind to go back to the meadow where he lives (some Land Before Time Nineteen or something that we watched on Cartoon Network earlier that day). She was very sad that he had to be away from his dad. I get that. This is the same kid that cried watching Dumbo at age two because "Dumbo can't be wif her mommy"...she's pretty empathetic, that one.
So, somehow, this seques into "I'm very sad that Jesus had to go back and live with his father, too". With Easter just passed, my husband apparently tried to give her the cliff notes version of why it's about more than a bunny and Cadbury Eggs. (Although with our church non-attendance the last five years, you could have fooled me, but whatever.) We rolled out sugar cookies at Easter, and used many cutters: bunnies, eggs, flowers, and a cross. I can see where the cross really doesn't fit in to a five year old. So, Jer gave the shortened version. Basically "Jesus was a good man and a teacher. He wanted peace and love, and he wanted to teach people about his Dad, who we all came from originally." Then, the Easter story in two sentences: "he died, but came back after three days to bring a message to the people about his father. After he gave the message, he went back to Heaven to be with his Dad. The Cross represents his death and his coming back as a miracle on Easter Sunday".
There you go. Not too shabby, for an out of practice, freethinking, Liberal Christian. As an aside, try explaining how someone comes back from the dead without fangs to a kid who watches "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" regularly.
So back to the other night. DP asks me "So, how did he die, mommy?"
Oh boy.
Where would you go with this? I went for the cop out, neglecting the whole nails and thorny crown details. "Some bad men who were in charge didn't like what he was teaching people. More and more people were following Jesus, and not following the current government. Jesus was a threat. So the government had him killed." It took everything in my power to make no allusions to Dubya.
She doesn't care about Pontius Pilate being conflicted, nor about the fact that it actually came down to the people, who chose to release a murderer instead. Nor does she need to. I'm not even sure I know the story that well, to tell the truth.
I'm a Christian, but more in a vague, "Jesus had some good things to teach the people" way than in a "Read My Bible and live it to the letter, or you will burn in the firey pits of Hell" way.
I don't believe you must even be a Christian to share time with God after you die. I think Buddah, Allah, and Yahweh are just other names for the same God.
I think that all religions want to teach the same basic spirituality and that different messengers were sent to different people to get the message across.
But I do believe that Jesus was God's actual son, so therefore I take on the "Christian" monniker. But beyond that, I am just not sure. And those that are *just that sure* kinda scare me. And the fact that many of those people think that I am *not* a Christian for the very explanations I gave above, have kept me from Church these many years. I just can't fathom going somewhere that preaches exclusiveness, isolation, and intolerance. I felt more hatred and exclusion whilst sitting in some contemporary Christian Churches than I ever felt before. I grew up Catholic. At least I could pass the time looking at statues while the priest droned on and on...but at the most recent of the churches we attended, I just felt angry. Angry that intolerance was cloaked in being able to wear jeans and listen to a rock band instead of a pipe organ.
We stopped going to that church after some of the members, my "friends"
hesitated to allow us to host the weekly bible study in our new home, because we were not married, and therefore they might be "condoning our sins" if they came to our home to learn more about God. This was such an issue that it was run through the pastor himself before we were "allowed" to host the group in our home. After that incident, I reoved myself from those "friendships" and that church entirely.
But I think the basics are important: love thy neighbor, the ten commandments, etc. A moral base never harmed anyone, right? And her questions are beginning to warrant more complicated answers that I'm just not qualified to answer anymore.
So where, exactly am I going to send this child of so many questions to go to Sunday school? I don't want to spend my Sunday afternoons Deprogramming what was learned that morning. The church shopping begins in June, upon our return from vacation.
Wish me luck.
