We had a halloween party last night. Sent the evite a month ago, and got a decent response. Expecting upwards of thirty people, I was looking forward to night of right debauchery (these being theatre folks, and all). I cleaned the house, made lots of cool treats, got up in my costume (Buffy, of course), and got ready to party. Took the kids to the neighbors' house for a sleepover, hung pretty lights on the deck, bought shitloads of beer.
Seven comes and goes. Jer, Ash and I sat and watched the entirety of Nightmare on Elm Street. Eight o'clock comes and goes. I begin drinking heavily, feeling that perhaps I have no friends. I check the evite, afraid I may have put the wrong date down. I get three phone calls, all from friends halfway across the country. If they were in town, they'd have been on time, dammit. One person called to say she couldn't make the party because she'd been puking. I'm sad, because she was someone I was really looking forward to seeing, but appreciate the call nonetheless.
First couple shows at 8:15. No costumes, but at least we have some friends. Then the next couple arrives. And the next. A few more awesome people arrive, about half in costume. But then, it stops. 12 people came to our party.
Now, there are about 8 people I saw just the weekend before, who raved they couldn't wait to see us, they love us so much, blah blah blah. Didn't come, didn't call.
I am embarassed. Partially because the people who came expecting a raucous shindig had to settle for a lame, sit around and talk and don't try and talk about the fact that more than half of our RSVPs stiffed us, and partially because I am being a crappy hostess, depressed and crabby, taking for granted the people who DID show up and wanted to spend the evening with us.
I don't want to approach the twenty people on the evite who viewed the invite and never responded. At all. Not even a "screw you, I have better plans". I even offered the option of "maybe" on the evite. Fuckers.
So there you have it. I spent my weekend in Martyrville, upset that 85% of my best friends live a day or more's drive away, upset that I had wasted perfectly good babysitting for a quiet evening that they very well would have slept through peacefully upstairs, and upset that all these great "friends" I have aren't really very good friends at all. And they are tacky to boot.
It's been a really rough couple of weeks. Stressed at school, stressed at home, and now this. It's time to purge toxic friends once more, and get back to what (and who) really matters.
So thank you, my dear friends who came. Thank you for propping me up and having a good time despite the lameness of my party. Fuck you my superficial friends who didn't bother with even an email to say why you shit on my parade.